While the world is striving to attain perfection, I realize the only perfect One took my place, as a perfect sacrifice, on a cross. Through Him my weaknesses are made strong. I'm not afraid to be different, because I AM different. I'm a child of The Most High. I can be imperfect because I am loved by a Perfect God.

Praying for Direction. Lift by Prayer. Working for Peace. Labor by Power. Driven by Love. Love by Patience. Living by Faith. Live by Presence. Held by Hope. Learn by Faith.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Confessions of a Dreamer

Tuesday, I was in my Financial Peace session by Dave Ramsey. We had moved to the discussion portion. The question was presented: "if money was no object, what is your dream, and what are you currently doing to achieve that dream?"

Nobody was really talking, so I spoke up. I said that I wanted to start a Medical Missions Clinic in Argentina. I changed my major to nursing, specifically for that. The leader of the group, thought that was a wonderful idea, and I should never lose sight of my dream.

Immediately following that statement, someone spoke up and said they think it's funny how our dreams change. At the age of 20, we have dreams, then reality strikes, we work jobs to make money and get by and never end up following our dreams. I responded with "where is the fulfilment in that? You make your money, live a comfortable life. But when you turn back to dust, you didn't change anything. It's not about people remembering your name, but what difference did you make?" Maybe he was simply being realistic, attempting to protect me from getting hurt. Nonetheless, I'm 20....young... I can implement these financial principles then be able to fund/support my dream. Do I want a comfortable life? Yes I do. But I want to change someones life. I want to give someone hope. I want to give someone hope. I want to introduce hurting people to my Healer, lost people to my Savior. I want people to be able to secure their eternity with my King.

I'm sure you all know the power of words. And I'm the pro at over analyzing everything. All night Tuesday, and all day Wednesday. I debated. Maybe he was correct. Why would I have such a big dream? I'm just a no name, spoiled, only child girl living a normal life in the corn fields of the Midwest. What can I do, what can I really offer people? I sat in church tonight and couldn't focus. I felt like God was so far away. I felt completely  misplaced, I didn't belong. I wondered what I was even doing. I regretted not going to school for music, I regretted leaving an Ivy League school for community college. I regretted NOT doing something I've lived my whole life to do. So since I haven't done what I've grown up wanting to do-going to Berklee for music, what else is there for me to do? I'm not being Debbie Downer. I was just questioning my purpose, right here, and right now, especially in this place.

After church and choir practice, I went to McDonald's with Lance and Davita. Laurie ended up sitting at our table. We ended up talking about missions. Laurie and I began to tell Lance about El Salvador. Somehow my dream came up. We talked about how the Church in Argentina already had a huge piece of land donated. The pastor and his wife want to put a crisis center for women who suffer from domestic violence and also teenage pregnancies. Along with that we want the clinic (which would also travel) and an orphanage. At the mention of the latter we had captured Lance's attention. He began to tell us about a burden he has for children. Children who are written off before they ever even have a chance to prove themselves to Society.

We talked about having the orphanage set up in a family fashion. One couple lives in a designated area and "parents" 4-6 children, then you have another couple, and so one and so forth. Then the clinic: setting up in less fortunate neighborhoods, teaching bible studies while people are waiting for care, teaching "Sunday school" for the children while they are waiting, then having a crusade in the evening. Yes we would need musicians :) Even for the orphanage.

Through that conversation (which I realize may not seem much) I was reminded of my dream. I believe I have it and this burden for a reason. Not just to waste my time, talents, and passion in a useless pursuit of a purpose, but to bring hope to hurting. To reach to a lost generation. Jesus has called us to not only be witnesses unto all parts of the world, but he has called us to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, take care of the widows and children, and to be a light in this dark world.

"Too many people want change but do nothing to bring it about. We think that we cannot change anything because of our limitations. It's not enough to feel pity. It's not enough to be saddened by the situations in Africa, Japan, or Haiti. Too often, we just throw money at a problem and leave feeling justified that we have done our part. I can't do that. My conscience doesn't allow me to. I have every intention of making a difference in the world."

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