While the world is striving to attain perfection, I realize the only perfect One took my place, as a perfect sacrifice, on a cross. Through Him my weaknesses are made strong. I'm not afraid to be different, because I AM different. I'm a child of The Most High. I can be imperfect because I am loved by a Perfect God.

Praying for Direction. Lift by Prayer. Working for Peace. Labor by Power. Driven by Love. Love by Patience. Living by Faith. Live by Presence. Held by Hope. Learn by Faith.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Today's Generation

I started off my day going to the gym. My goal isn't necessarily to be skinnier, although that would be a good thing, but moreso to be healthier. I look at older people who didn't take care of their bodies, and I realize I do not want to be in that situation. It's much easier to start now.

As I was thinking about that, I realized what a spirit of laziness and lack of patience has come over our generation. I know it's been said before, but we live in a fast paced society. Everything happens immediately. Instant information, with the internet, instant communication with cell phones and instant messengers, even email, instant food, drive thru's, instant coffee. (lol). People want immediate results. My generation wants what our parents have now. We want what took them 30+ years to obtain, and we want it without having to do all the work.

Everyone makes New Year's resolutions, they never stick. People join gyms, they stop going. People make new friends, they lose touch. It seems that once the newness wears off, people become bored and move on. There is a need for instant gratification. there's a saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" Maybe I'm misinterpreting that, but I think that's what people do. When things get hard, they give up and move on to the next thing.

I can really see this in people's spiritual lives as well. Our generation has so much to be thankful for. We have the knowledge and experience of those before us. However, the level of commitment and desperation simply doesn't exist. In order to draw closer to God, we have to have less of ourselves. This generation doesn't want to go through the breaking process. Moving up, means having less weighing you down. For some reason, letting go of some things is too difficult for people. They do not want to put forth the effort.

I previously mentioned about things being born in anguish. Anguish doesn't come without passions. It doesn't "just happen" It takes many hours in prayer, deep heartfelt prayer. For some reason my generation is much greater satisfied knowing about God rather than knowing Him. Sure we've heard many people say "It's about the relationship, not the religion". I agree with that, I think everyone should have a relationship with God, but relationships take work, one person doesn't always get what they want. How many times have we not done what God wants, because it doesn't fit into our plan? How many times would we rather read books ABOUT God, or ABOUT other people's experience with God, than God's word. Today's generation is singing to the tune of finding your own beliefs, but when you're reading books by other people about God... is that really what you're doing? Having a relationship with God is learning about Him, hearing what He has to say.

I weep for our generation. A generation that in all rights has power with God beyond comprehension, and yet quench that power by consuming themselves with affairs of this world. Which when it boils down to it, mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. A word to all those that would heed my plea, don't let anything in this world keep you from eternity.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I've got a song in my heart

Hey there. I don't have too much to say tonight. I'm pretty much all out of energy.
Church was phenomenal! We baptized 8 people and 4 paeople got the Holy Ghost. God is truly awesome.

After church, some people came over. We just sat in my room and talked...then we went on an adventure to the park. Good Times in the Hamster Wheel! :)

Today I was thinking about Romans 8:28. All things work together for good, for those that love the Lord and are called for His purpose....or something along those lines. It just reminded me that no matter what, God knows. The bible says He knows the number of hairs on my head....so when I'm having a bad day, He knows. When somebody says something that hurts my feelings, He knows. When people let me down, He knows. Yet through it all, He never leaves me, and it's all for a purpose.

I woke up this morning singing a song. Oddly enough, it was sang in church tonight:

So many times I've questioned certain circumstances
Or things I could not understand
Many times in trials, weakness blurs my vision
And my frustration gets so out of hand
Its then I am reminded I've never been forsaken
I've never had to stand the test alone
As I look at all the victories
The spirit rises up in me
And its through the fire my weakness is made strong

He never promised that the cross would not get heavy
And the hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered our victories without fighting
But He said help would always come in time
Just remember when you're standing in the valley of decision
And the adversary says give in
Just hold on, our Lord will show up
And He will take you through the fire again

I know within myself that I would surely perish
But if I trust thehand of God, He'll shield the flames again, again

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Day 3: I know who I am

Today we had the first day of summer weather! :) Since it was so nice, I spent almost all day outside. Unfortunately I was in the shade so I didn't get much of a tan. :(

As I was outside enjoying nature, I spotted a bee. Most other people in the world are probably like me, I HATE bees. I see them and completely freak out, because I don't want to get stung. However, today, seeing one from a distance reminded me of a discussion we had in biology, when I was in high school.

Given the size of a bee's body in the proportion of their wings, it should not be possible for a bee to be able to fly. Scientists have not been able to figure out how this works, how such tiny wings are able to support a much bigger body.

The simple solution is: God made a bee to fly, therefore it flies. Nobody ever told the bee it couldn't fly. What would happen if we applied this to our life? What if our main goal was to be exactly how God intended us to be?

I know we're all striving to be "Christ-like" Christians, but so many times we get distracted and dragged down by life's pressures. We also forget the weapons of our warfare are not carnal. Somebody can say something and we get offended, we have a dream or a goal and someone disapproves for whatever reason, and we are discouraged. Our dreams are blown away by the wind that comes out of that person's mouth. Back to the bee analogy, Scientists can say a bee should not fly: but guess what, that bee flies every day, it completes it's purpose. We need to be the same way. When people speak negativity, just remember who you are. God made you to be a certain way, He made you to complete a certain task. Nobody, no matter their name, position, or relationship, can hinder what God has ordained in YOUR life, unless you let them.

I want to dance for you, like nobody's watching. I want to sing for you, like nobody's listening. I want to be the way I was made!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Day 2: Accountability

Today marks the second day of my fast. I'm beginning to feel much better, however it's still a daily battle.

I was thinking today about accountability. All my life I've been accountable to people: teachers, elders, family, some friends, etc. As you get older, accountability becomes somewhat subjective so to speak. If you have an accountability partner, you can only be accountable to them for what they know aka what you tell them.

As I was dwelling on that thought, I realized that it doesn't matter how many people you are accountable to, or WHO you are accountable to. The only real difference is made when you are accountable to yourself. Please do not get me wrong, I am NOT saying to eliminate mentors and accountability partners, because those people are extremely vital in a person's growth and maturity. However, you must have boundaries and limitations set in your mind. You must know your limits, these must be established before you have the opportunity to cross your boundaries.

Your accountability partners can only do so much, and say so much. This brings me to the question: As an accountability partner, when do you draw the line? You have a conversation about a situation...a week later the same thing happens again... Not because of a mistake, but because you put yourself in the situation for it to happen.

I guess I'm trying to say that there comes a time in everyone's life,where you have to live life for yourself, and accept responsibility for your own actions. You make the decisions, you life with the consequences.

I want to make a difference in someone's life, be a passionate person, and stand firmly for what I believe in.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Day 1: Mumble Jumble

I have an amazing proposition coming up. It would be an amazing opportunity in October. I'm praying everything works out.

Ok so today marks the first day of my no texting no facebook fast. It's been harder than I thought it would be. Honestly, the break has been nice. I've been so overwhelmed, everything I've been through the past few months. All the spirits I've faced. I guess I never actually realized it, unitl I was talking to Amy today. She told me she was proud of me, and how I've stood, which what I've been through.
I also went out last night. Lauri and I had a really good chat.

On a side note, why do people feel the need to cut other people down. Just because I'm young, doesn't mean I'm dumb, or incompetant, or incapable of getting my feelings hurt. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. In case it's been forgotten, We're all working toward the same goal...If you can't get along with me here, how do you expect to get along with me in heaven? I'm thinking this is a fight I'm going to choose not to fight.

I watched a video clip of "A Call To Anguish" By David Wilkerson

I look at the whole religious scene today and all I see are inventions and ministries of man and the flesh. Its mostly powerless, it has no impact on the world.

And I see more of the world coming into the church and impacting the church rather than the church impacting the world.

I see the music taking over the house of God. I see entertainment taking over the house of God.

Obsess with entertainment in God’s house, a hatred of correction and a hatred of reproof. Nobody wants to hear it anymore.

Whatever happened to anguish in the house of God? Whatever happened to anguish in the ministry? It’s a word you don’t hear in this pampered age, you don’t hear it.

Anguish means extreme pain and distress, the emotions so stirred that it becomes painful. Acute, deeply felt inner pain because of conditions about you, in you, or around you. Anguish, deep pain, deep sorrow. Agony of God heart.

We’ve held onto our religious rhetoric and our revival talk but we’ve become so passive. All true passion is born out of anguish. All true passion for Christ comes out of a baptism of anguish.

You search the scripture and you’ll find that when God determined to recover a ruined situation He would share his own anguish, for what God saw happening to His church and to His people. And He would find a praying man and He would take that man and literally baptize him in anguish.

You find it in the book of Nehemiah, Jerusalem is in ruins. How is God going to deal with this? How is God going to restore the ruin? Jeremiah was not a preacher, he was a career man.

This was a praying man. God found a man who would not just have a flash of emotion. Not just some great sudden burst of concern and then let it die. He said “No. I broken down and I wept and I mourned and I fasted. Then I began to pray night and day.”

Why didn’t these other men, why didn’t they have an answer? Why didn’t God use them in restoration? Why didn’t they have a word? Because there was no sign of anguish! No weeping! not a word of prayer!

Does it matter to you at all that God’s spiritual Jerusalem, the church, is now married to the world? That there is such a coldness sweeping the land?

Closer than that, does it matter about the Jerusalem that is in our own hearts? The sign of ruin that is slowly draihning spiritual power and passion. Blind to lukewarmness, blind to the mixture that is creeping in.

That’s all the devil wants to do is get the fight out of you, and kill it. So you won’t labor in prayer anymore. You won’t weep before God anymore. You can sit and watch televion and your family go to hell.

There is a great difference between anguish and concern. Concern is something that begins to interest you, you take an interest in a project or a cause or a concern or a need.

If it is not born in anguish, if it had not been born of the Holy Spirit, where what you saw and heard of the ruin that drove you to your knees, took you down into a baptism of anguish where you began to pray and seek God.

I know now, until I am in agony, until I have been anguished over it. And all our projects, all our ministries, every we do. Where are the Sunday school teachers that weep over kids they know are not hearing and going to hell?

You see, a true prayer life begins at the place of anguish. You see, if you set your heart to pray, God’s going to come and start sharing his heart with you.

Your heart begins to cry out — Oh God your name is being blasphemed. Holy Spirit is being mocked. The enemy is out trying to destroy the testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness and something has to be done.

There is going to be no renewal, no revival, no awakening, until we are willing to let him once again break us. It is getting late and it’s getting serious.

Please don’t tell me, don’t tell me you’re concerned when you’re spending hours in front of Internet or television. Come on.

Lord, I confess I am not what I was, I am not where I am suppose to be. God I don’t have your heart or your burden. I’ve wanted it easy. I just wanted to be happy.

But Lord, true joy comes, true joy comes out of anguish. There is nothing of the flesh will give you joy. I don’t care how much money, I don’t care what kind of new house, there is absolutely nothing physical that can give you joy.

It is only what is accomplished by the Holy Spirit when you obey him and take on his heart. Build the walls around your family, build the walls around your own heart. Make you strong and impregnable against the enemy.

God that is what we desire