While the world is striving to attain perfection, I realize the only perfect One took my place, as a perfect sacrifice, on a cross. Through Him my weaknesses are made strong. I'm not afraid to be different, because I AM different. I'm a child of The Most High. I can be imperfect because I am loved by a Perfect God.

Praying for Direction. Lift by Prayer. Working for Peace. Labor by Power. Driven by Love. Love by Patience. Living by Faith. Live by Presence. Held by Hope. Learn by Faith.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Day 9 :: finally

I'm sorry it has taken me so long. I promise I'm going to finish this blog challenge... Even if it takes me 18 years lol

shout out.....positive thoughts.....healing energy....and an abundance of prayers to my twin, confidant, and favorite singer who is in the hospital. Aaron, i love you! And I'm definitely coming to see you in the morning when i get off work.

Well the world was supposed to end on Saturday....obviously it didn't. One thing it did do was get a lot of people talking about the rapture. Was I worried the world was going to end? No. The bible says that no man knows the day nor the hour...but that brings me to another thought....

Tonight Vita and I went to Starbucks while we were there a tornado warning was put into effect. Tornadoes were being spotted from Davenport and headed to moline. ....Where we were...then to the towns we live in. So we decided to stay put. I said what if god came back with this storm...a day after the prophesy....like - hah joke is on you! God does have a sense of humor. Vita was jokingly making dying confessions. I asked her if her heart was right. Now I'm going to be honest and say i silently asked myself the same question. Really....the answer scared me.

I am not a bad person....but truthfully life just gets to ya sometimes. Being involved in and close to ministry....there are times when i definitely dont agree with everything. I get frustrated and sometimes even hurt. That's been the case lately. It seems like I've had the worst attitude and have been too frustrated to even care. This storm helped me realize that. Im not saying things are going to get better overnight
...but im certainly going to work on it.

My inspiration is one of kirk Franklin's new songs...

Before I Die

I'm feelin' real good cuz it ain't over
Right before I die I gotta live
Live out my dreams so
I can be what
He planned for me not just for me but
so they can see much more of Him
and less of right before I die I gotta
Love my enemies,
forgive the past and set 'em free
so I can free
free up the things
every blessing God has for me
see it's for me, not just for you
I had to learn from what I've been through
I can't go through that way again
be hurt by you that way again
It's not the end

I used to be afraid to die
I used to be afraid to try
cause I was too afraid of knowing
what failing looked like
but the son came to give me life
now I feel like I can touch the sky
I'm ready if you're ready
Get up and live right now,
right now, right now right now, right now, right now, right now Get up and live right now, right now, right now right now, right now, right now, right now

Right before I die I gotta Change
change how I think
change how I speak
I'm not the same
so when I speak you don't hear the pain
no longer weak with no one to
right before I die I gotta
Become more like you
to count the cost
cause I was lost
that's why I praise you
you're the only God
I don't know what they do

But I know..


So the next time you think of me
and you wonder where I would be
without each blessing that helped me to see
Life is much more than things
and how you live is more than how you sing
when I die what did I really mean,
I mean Say what? Say what now?
As we proceed, to give you what you need
somebody, anybody, everybody, scream


Lord have mercy
I told you it ain't over for you
I see you livin
I see you makin' it

Right before I live I have to die.


day nine: what do you want to be remembered for?

If you have read any of my other posts...you probably already
Know the answer.

I Want to be remembered for being a positive change/influence in someone's life.

I want to be remembered for being a cheerful person. Someone who was passionate.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Another Break Blog : Day 8

How do you stay entertained when you're snowed in?

Lol I'm not sure if entertained is the best word, but I definitely stay busy.

I pretty much do everything I never have time for:

catching up on laundry
Reading agood book :)
enjoying a nice bubble bath
catching up with a friend: unfortunately I'm terrible at keeping in touch.

Weeeeeelllll its Wednesday...if you don't know what that means, it means I go to church, have cor practice, then go to Mcdonalds with Lance, Vita, and Laurie.

We have kinda become our own little support group. Inspiring each other to make goals and live out our dreams. Maybe that sounds a little cliche, but it really has worked. :)

Tonight Vita preached her first message in HER spanish lol . She said "abren sus bibliotecas! No, wait! Bibilias." We're pretty sure she meant biblias :)

What is a life with out friends? A dull one that's for sure! I may not have the most friends....but I'm certainly blessed with a few great friends!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Day 7

How do you stay focused on a task?

I pretty much just make up my mind and keep the end goal in sight.

I'm working my second night :) I made a new friend. This is my break.

By the way.... I haven't given in and texted....or done any chasing :) ya'll should be proud! Let me tell you, it has been hard! I think the worst part is realizing there hasn't been any communication. It would seem that maybe I'm not as important to him as I thought I was.....or what he was to me. Maybe its time to realize I deserve better and move on....easier said than done tho.

Speaking of moving on, its time for me to get back to work!

Much love,

Monday, May 16, 2011

Day 6

 Are you stressed out right now? If so, about what? If not, how do you control the things going on in your life?

Hmmm. I really don't think I'm stressed right now. I mean: 

  • I've paid off all my debt
  • I passed my state tests
  • I recently got a job
  • I've accepted that sometimes people move on and walk out of your life
I don't really think anyone can control the things going on in their life. Really, things happen, and the only thing that matters is your response to it, and what you learn from it.

The hardest thing to do is accept things, but I've learned that the sooner you accept circumstances the better off you are.

  • Bad things happen.
  • People hurt you.
  • You get rejected.
  • Thing don't go according to plan.
Welcome to the Human Race  (the only race where there's no winner. we all meet the same judgement at the end of it)

on the upside of it though,

  • Good things happen.
  • Special people can show up at opportune times and help heal open wounds.
  • You can make a difference in someone else's life.
  • God's plan ends up being WAY better than our plan.

I guess that's the only way I make it through those trying and stressful times. There is always a silver lining.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Day five

Do you prefer to talk, text, or a different method of communication?

Wow....umm I love texting, but only because its convenient and I can multitask lol.
But in reality I much prefer talking: in person, or on the phone. I think its a sign of commitment, it shows that you're willing to actually take the time to talk to someone. It is much more meaningful

On a side note: I am currently at work. Lol don't fresh out im on an hour break. Writing in this blog is what is keeping me awake. So if at any point I start rambling: you can figure out why. I'm in the process of eating stake lucky charms, drinking cold coffee, and listening to Kirk Franklin. :) its a good break :)

30 minutes left on break....what to talk about....

I found out last night that my friends in Argentina : who got married while we were there : Carole and Jose are going to be parents! I'm so excited for them! The baby is due in January. I told Laurie now we HAVE to go to meet the baby!

I've been following Patti Stanger on Twitter. She has really been talking about not chasing guys, but making them chase you... So I thought about it and it may seem like I'm the one doing the chasing : texting first, calling first, making plans to hang out...well today marks the end of that. Do you think that's acceptable? Is it too much for me to ask to seemimportant to a person? Or am I just being stubborn wanting a guy to text first?

Let me know your thoughts!


Saturday, May 14, 2011

Shout Out :: Apology :: Update :: Day 4

Today is my bestie: Miss Vita Carter's birthday!!! I hope it's everything she's wanted and more!!! This year has brought some experiences, lessons, heartbreak, laughter, dashboard days, road trips, and so much more! I can't wait until we get to listen to our recorded time capsule! We're gonna make this your best year yet!! :)

I'm sorry it's been a few days Blogger was down for technical fixings. Good News: It's up and running again! :)

A lot has happened so I'll briefly fill you in.

Wednesday was my orientation for my new job. I start tomorrow night. I must admit, I'm super excited about it! Ok, and a little nervous too.

If I haven't mentioned it before, I've been taking a Financial Peace class with Dave Ramsey. He has really changed my perspective (and spending) of money :) He talks a lot about advanced planning, being debt free, and building wealth. Obviously, I'm young so if I can practice these principles.... My money will work for me.

ANYWAY... he has discussed retirement and ira's, mutual funds... the whole deal. Well, with this new job I'm required to put 4.5% into retirement, but I can (and will ) max it out at 14.5%. However... regardless of how much I put in, the company puts in........

are you ready for this?

you sure?

it's amazing!

I just about screamed......

.... 11%

Yes that is ELEVEN PERCENT!!!

That is a huge chunk of money! I'm completely stoked about it!

God is so good! Let me tell you what else. He has blessed me.

I have a 90 day probation period for my job. I'll probably completely that around september (give or take), once it's done I get 5 paid earned days. On my one year anniversary: May 11, 2012, I will get five more earned days.

Bottom line? Next May I will have TEN paid vacations days! What does this really mean? Next June I'm going on a TEN day mission trip.... and I will have paid vacation days!!

How can you tell me that's not a God thing??

I was also blessed to recieve some extra money this week. I paid off both my credit cards, my student loan, 3/4 of my debt to my parents, AND set up a fully funded emergency account.

When you're faithful to God, He is faithful to you.

ok... how about our blog challenge now.

Day 4

Share something that makes you smile. It can be anything!

I would have to say three things.

1. Being outside: only in Spring, Summer, or Fall.
    Although, I much prefer summer. Hot enough to spend the days in the pool, enjoying the sunshine, and cool enough to go down by the river in the evenings. Or the weekends camping. Afternoons on the porch, in the swing, eating ice cream with the neighbors.

2. Music

    It's like no matter what your mood is, there is always music to express yourself. When no one else is around... It's still there. Music is the language of the world, the uniting element to every country, culture, gender, generation, past, or profession. When words cannot adequately describe an emotion, music sings the passion.

3. Being with the people I love
    I really don't think this number needs a caption. The people I love can put the smile on my face when it's gone. :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Day 3

What was your BEST accomplishment in 2010? You can only post one, so think hard!

I'm not much in the mood for blogging tonight, so this will be short and sweet.

I can't really think of any MAJOR accomplishments from 2010

I would have to say going to Argentina...it changed my life.

My spanish improved greatly
I met many wonderful people
Made friendships that will last a lifetime
Took pictures that words cannot explain
Experienced memories that will last a life time
Realized there's more to life than my world
Got a new dreamed
Changed my major
Developed new dreams

and almost died in a car everyday, and in an airplane

it may not be my greatest accomplishment, but it is definitely something that has a special place in my heart, and was life changing.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Day 2!

Name someone who deserves more credit than they get. You can also talk about how to change things so they receive more credit, post about this person, how you know them, ways we can get to know them, etc.

I thought about this all day today. I can't really think of ONE person. I've thought of all the people who've impacted my life, as well as the life of others. My conclusion: There is a group of people who deserve WAY more credit than they receive.

These are the people who spend 1/3 of their day investing in the life of a child. They are responsible for the future. They challenge the minds of the young. In some cases they spend more time with a child than the parents. They take an interest in a child. They help them achieve success, mold social skills, introduce diversity, demonstrate tolerance and acceptance and lead by example.

I'm talking about teachers, of all kinds:
Elementary Teachers
Middle School Teachers
High School Teachers
College Professors
Music Teachers
Athletic Instructors
Private Tutors
Sunday School Teachers

Any person who invests time in another person for the betterment of that person.

I think this is sometimes a thankless job. It can takes years to see the benefits of lessons taught. In some instances, people who should be responsible, push the responsibility to the next person.

I want to thank EVERY person who has invested in my life.

Family who has always believed in me and supported every decision.
A Pastor and Church Family who has always prayed for me and encouraged my spiritual growth.
Teachers in School who have taught me so many lessons and challenged the limits of my mind.

Mrs. Schehl: who not only shared her passion for music with me, but also has become a great friend.

Mrs. Cantu: who showed me that I can be a diva princess and still not get my way-but still supported my shoe obsession

Melinda: who likes to take credit for my cooking skill :p although she did teach me how to make scrambled eggs. She's taught me a lot, and been 100% open with me. As I've grown up we've become friends...even through her "vicodin addiction" (JOKE!!! She was never actually addicted to pain killers"

Amy: Who has been the big sister I've always needed, but never had, a friend I've always needed, my mentor I've always looked up to, and my cousin.  She's listened to me vent, knows everything about me, and still loves me, has offered advice...when I want it, and when I need it. Also the mom of my two favorite nephews :)

Mom: Who has been my friend, and has always supported me. We definitely do not agree on everything, and when we get into an argument, it's pretty much an all out war. But Nonetheless, I'm so thankful she is in my life. She has taught me patience, tolerance, understand, and that life is all about timing :)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Day 1

 List 3 countries you'd like to visit and why you would like to go. You can post pictures, an itinerary... anything you'd like.

1. Israel

I'd love to see all the history there. See the streets Jesus walked on. The upper room where 120 people were changed-enough to turn the entire world upside down. I'd love to visit the Wailing wall, where millions of prayers have been sent up to heaven. Of course, I would love to visit an empty tomb.

2. Ireland

Simply because I love Irish Accents :) I want to take in the sights and explore the beautiful countryside.

3. I know it's not a country, but Africa
I want to see the great pyramids of Egypt.
I want to see the sun set over the nile

I want to experience true African Worship

I want to visit Cape Town

Those are just a few things on my list for Africa. I would also like to visit the jungle, do some exploring, and learn some of the culture.

Picking only 3 countries was quite difficult. Especially when there is such a diverse world I would like to learn all about.

I would truly love to travel back to Argentina to visit with all my friends, too many to name on here. Friends in San Nicholas, Buenos Aires, Marcos Paz, and Rosario. Also I would like to venture up north to ride El Tren de Las Nubes. Train to the Clouds. :) Laurie Thinks I'm crazy since some viaducts are as high as 4,200 m!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

30 Day Blog Challenge! :)

I have decided to do a 30 day Blog Challenge. I think these are some great topics, so here is what my blog will consist of for the next 30 days. Feel free to join me on this journey. :)

Day 1: List 3 countries you'd like to visit and why you would like to go. You can post pictures, an itinerary... anything you'd like!

Day 2: Name someone who deserves more credit than they get. You can also talk about how to change things so they receive more credit, post about this person, how you know them, ways we can get to know them, etc.

Day 3: What was your BEST accomplishment in 2010? You can only post one, so think hard!

Day 4: Share something that makes you smile. It can be anything!

Day 5: Do you prefer to talk, text, or use a different communication method?

Day 6: Are you stressed out right now? If so, about what? If not, how do you control the things going on in your life?

Day 7: How do you stay focused on a task or activity?

Day 8: How do you stay entertained when you're snowed in?

Day 9: What do you want to be remembered for?

Day 10: Write one thing you've never told anyone. Go on... confession is good for the soul. Why haven't you told anyone until now?

Day 11: What are you looking forward to most in 2011?

Day 12: What made you start blogging?

Day 13: If you had a time machine that only let you spend one hour in a different time, what date would you go to?

Day 14: What is the wackiest advice you've ever received?

Day 15: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Why or why not?

Day 16: What gives you hope?

Day 17: What is the bravest thing you've seen someone else do? It can be someone you know personally, something that you witnessed, etc.

Day 18: What is the most important thing you're putting off? And why do you continue putting it off?

Day 19: Describe for us what your laugh sounds like.

Day 20: Is it always better to know the truth even if it hurts? Or is ignorance bliss?

Day 21: How do you define the word 'friend?'

Day 22: Who are the three funniest people in the world? Who are the three funniest people you know personally?

Day 23: If you had your own reality show, what would it be called? What would it be about? Describe it in detail for us!

Day 24: When teleportation is FINALLY possible, where will you beam yourself first
Day 25: Describe the worst teacher you've ever had.

Day 26: What is something you never believed until you experienced it?

Day 27: If you could go back in time and have a 5 minute conversation with yourself ten years ago, what would you say?

Day 28: What part of life confuses you the most?

Day 29: When you’re feeling down, what music cheers you up?

Day 30: What can't you say no to?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Confessions of a Dreamer

Tuesday, I was in my Financial Peace session by Dave Ramsey. We had moved to the discussion portion. The question was presented: "if money was no object, what is your dream, and what are you currently doing to achieve that dream?"

Nobody was really talking, so I spoke up. I said that I wanted to start a Medical Missions Clinic in Argentina. I changed my major to nursing, specifically for that. The leader of the group, thought that was a wonderful idea, and I should never lose sight of my dream.

Immediately following that statement, someone spoke up and said they think it's funny how our dreams change. At the age of 20, we have dreams, then reality strikes, we work jobs to make money and get by and never end up following our dreams. I responded with "where is the fulfilment in that? You make your money, live a comfortable life. But when you turn back to dust, you didn't change anything. It's not about people remembering your name, but what difference did you make?" Maybe he was simply being realistic, attempting to protect me from getting hurt. Nonetheless, I'm 20....young... I can implement these financial principles then be able to fund/support my dream. Do I want a comfortable life? Yes I do. But I want to change someones life. I want to give someone hope. I want to give someone hope. I want to introduce hurting people to my Healer, lost people to my Savior. I want people to be able to secure their eternity with my King.

I'm sure you all know the power of words. And I'm the pro at over analyzing everything. All night Tuesday, and all day Wednesday. I debated. Maybe he was correct. Why would I have such a big dream? I'm just a no name, spoiled, only child girl living a normal life in the corn fields of the Midwest. What can I do, what can I really offer people? I sat in church tonight and couldn't focus. I felt like God was so far away. I felt completely  misplaced, I didn't belong. I wondered what I was even doing. I regretted not going to school for music, I regretted leaving an Ivy League school for community college. I regretted NOT doing something I've lived my whole life to do. So since I haven't done what I've grown up wanting to do-going to Berklee for music, what else is there for me to do? I'm not being Debbie Downer. I was just questioning my purpose, right here, and right now, especially in this place.

After church and choir practice, I went to McDonald's with Lance and Davita. Laurie ended up sitting at our table. We ended up talking about missions. Laurie and I began to tell Lance about El Salvador. Somehow my dream came up. We talked about how the Church in Argentina already had a huge piece of land donated. The pastor and his wife want to put a crisis center for women who suffer from domestic violence and also teenage pregnancies. Along with that we want the clinic (which would also travel) and an orphanage. At the mention of the latter we had captured Lance's attention. He began to tell us about a burden he has for children. Children who are written off before they ever even have a chance to prove themselves to Society.

We talked about having the orphanage set up in a family fashion. One couple lives in a designated area and "parents" 4-6 children, then you have another couple, and so one and so forth. Then the clinic: setting up in less fortunate neighborhoods, teaching bible studies while people are waiting for care, teaching "Sunday school" for the children while they are waiting, then having a crusade in the evening. Yes we would need musicians :) Even for the orphanage.

Through that conversation (which I realize may not seem much) I was reminded of my dream. I believe I have it and this burden for a reason. Not just to waste my time, talents, and passion in a useless pursuit of a purpose, but to bring hope to hurting. To reach to a lost generation. Jesus has called us to not only be witnesses unto all parts of the world, but he has called us to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, take care of the widows and children, and to be a light in this dark world.

"Too many people want change but do nothing to bring it about. We think that we cannot change anything because of our limitations. It's not enough to feel pity. It's not enough to be saddened by the situations in Africa, Japan, or Haiti. Too often, we just throw money at a problem and leave feeling justified that we have done our part. I can't do that. My conscience doesn't allow me to. I have every intention of making a difference in the world."